I assumed my relationship would be safe and my own well being would be upper most important in my partners life. I had built my life on trust and I valued that trust with my whole life and world.
Until I picked up a book that really shed some true meaning to the statement above and really put things into perspective for myself. It was then that I could go back and recall the events that lead up to the statement above that is underlined.
What to do with all these emotions, after the fact..
I have found the most helpful tool.. I stashed a wine box up inside my studio a long time ago, it's very very beautiful.. I only drink wine on very special occasions. I saw this beautiful wine box sitting there the other day and discovered that it was OK, to release some of these traumatic hurts. Writing each one down on a pretty decorative note pad, tearing off each sheet when finished and placing a date on the paper.. along with a bible verse.. Once I am done writing down the true traumatic feeling of hurt, I place the paper inside the wine box and close the lid.. It's a way for myself to release these emotions to a much higher power..
All of us from time to time face a total loss in our lives, through death, natural disasters, divorce, loss of a job, a loss of a home, loss of children growing up, loss of natural changes of life, etc. But if we don't know that we are in the stages of grief, how are we to understand what we are dealing with?
I am very thankful for my box of emotions, as one day, when I am ready, I can open up this box and deal with one thing at a time, on my own terms.
Maybe this will help someone else right now, who is dealing with a loss inside.