Crossing a Milestone

7 Years ago , I had no idea that I would be faced with so many challenges and especially today. 

I remember so well, as if it were yesterday, being pregnant with my last baby.. At 41 giving birth was sorta a huge deal, not too many of us were willing to put our bodies through that sort of change and so late in the game.. 

With 4 older children of my own, 2 bonus children, a dog and a house to tend to daily, I was not real sure I would be able to do it all, be it all and especially be able to stay up at night .. That was my biggest fear, that I would be breastfeeding and my husband would find me and the baby in the morning, me asleep while sitting up and the baby had gained 5 pounds in one night while breastfeeding.. Oh those simply worries.. 

Little did I really know.. 

I had really no clue what my life would be like each time I rubbed my growing baby belly.. I would wonder if he or she would be goofy, silly, have blonde hair or dark hair, like butterflies and watching cartoons on a Saturday morning. Chocolate milk or Strawberry. Waiting to hear those first words spoken, that long awaited first walk, learning to wave that little hand.. all those first milestones that a mother keeps so close inside her heart, waiting for the birth of her child.. 

It's been a long long journey with little Anthony, aka "Guido".. had I only known back then what all I could accomplish, the voice that I had to become, the fight behind the reasons, the strength I didn't think I had.. The endless nights of 3-4 hours sleep, walking the house at night, bolting the doors, running down the sidewalk to catch up with my little Guido whom had decided he could take a walk at midnight, or 5 am in the morning with just a diaper on and nothing else... The endless amounts of spinning chairs, the countless amount of paper towels being used from obsessive hand washing, the fear of something being sucked down the registers, or the motor of the car. Watching for hours upon hours of little match box tires spinning around and around as they moved across the floors... finding odd objects inside Guido's mouth.. The never ending worry I have had that he has not eaten any food to speak of since age 16 months. The endless amount of doctors, allergist, throat specialist, the list goes on and on... 

I use to keep a diary and would chart everything that I questioned in my own mind.. My oldest daughter once asked me, "Mom, if they had a magic pill that could make Guido different, would you give it to him".. ? 

There was no pause in my voice, my answer was simple.. 

NO..  

Living with an autistic child, has both strengthened myself and at the same time, worn me out.. 

But today, after 3 long years of using my voice and fighting for my own son's rights, I stood up and made a difference for my son and his future years to come..

I am most proud of my son, for being who he is, allowing me to find my own strengths and weaknesses.. for always waking up every single day and hearing, mommy, I love you.. or hear him say; "Mommy, you look so stylish", as he tosses out a wink and tries to snap his fingers.. 

I am thankful that God blessed me with such a warm, loving, beautiful son, whom I call, Guido.

Sherri & Anthony June 15th, 2011